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cmbranford) wrote2007-07-28 10:37 pm
Crossing the Line
Hi folks! I really am working on Catch (very slowly working on it), but I've been busy and have had other projects (like contest prizes and beta duties) to keep me busy. I'm here with ficcage tonight, so I hope that'll placate folks for a little while, at least.
See you on some Friday in the future!
Title: "Crossing the Line"
Fandom: Yellow
Characters: Goh, Taki
Length: 1301 words
Rating: PG-13 (mild adult themes, one bad word)
Warnings: References to Volume 1, Acts 1 and 2; assumption of Goh x Taki
Summary: Goh considers when he fell in love with Taki as he watches the other man sleep.
Notes: This story was written for the winner of the first ever Yellow Fandom Community contest at cafe_roost, youkai_girl. Credit must be given to Satoru Kannagi, and of all things the beginning of the Only the Ring Finger Knows: The Left Hand Dreams of Him novel, despite the awful edit of the English translation (seriously, they need some betas up in there), for the inspiration that allowed me to break through the writer's block preventing me from finishing this.
Disclaimer: Yellow is owned by Makoto Tateno; I’m just borrowing it so I can make myself feel better about the plotholes...
Crossing the Line
On his side, head propped with one arm, Goh gazed down at the steadily breathing form of his lover. Taki was asleep, of course. He'd never tolerate this kind of attention in his waking hours. It was just that Goh couldn't help himself from looking. Not only was Taki gorgeous and gazing at him was pleasant in itself, in this state he was at his most peaceful and accepting. It was something he had dreamed about seeing in his partner for so long that finally witnessing it, of discovering this side of Taki really existed, he craved its sight all the time. Awake Taki was still often guarded, but asleep nearly all of his guards were let down... Assuming, of course, he didn't try to touch the other man. Taki didn't like surprises and he especially didn't like it when Goh was plotting without his knowledge. Goh had to settle for just looking, unless he wanted to land himself on the floor with a fist down his throat.
He yawned. It was very late and he probably shouldn't be losing sleep like this when they had work to do the next day. Taki would give him an earful if he was less than fully attentive on their job. However, he couldn't seem to break away and settle down for the night: the pleasure of giving in to his body's desire to sleep outweighed by the content provided in the sleeping man before him.
He could scarcely remember, laying in this position for an hour now, what it was like not to feel so at ease around the other. It took a year to get this far. A long year of building trust with a partner and friend. Of living and working together and putting themselves in harms way for each other. Naturally their bond had grown and desire bloomed. At least, it was natural for him.
The spark of attraction had always been there, even from their first meeting, despite his claims of not being interested. He'd been burned then; the circumstances surrounding his parting with Kei enough to make him wary of both new partnerships and new relationships. Still, there was something enchanting about the other man. When Taki walked through the door, and into his life, he couldn't help but be taken aback by the other's confidence, and as they got to know each other he realized just how alike they were. He seemed just as wary to trust and respected the space Goh wanted between them. Taki was gorgeous and cool, and of course being where Goh's preferences lay, he'd become enamored.
Even so, a spark of an attraction is still a long way from where they are now. He had to wonder when that line had been crossed. He could remember the first time Taki was in danger, real danger, because of a jealous lover of Goh's. What was that kid's name? He had mafia ties or something, though it'd been so long he had trouble remembering the details. He'd been angry, he knew, but mostly at himself for letting his partner get caught up in his own problems like that. Was it then? He knew his attractions had grown considerably by that time, and he was making some daring advances, but could it have been love?
No, he decided. Wanting a piece of someone's ass doesn't mean you're in love with him. That's part of the whole reason it took so long for Taki to believe him later; sex and love are not the same thing. So, when had that line from wanting his body to wanting a life with the other man been crossed?
Goh reached inward, drawing out a long controlled breath as he concentrated on those memories. There was a moment, in the middle of another case, not too long after that one, when he knew for certain. He'd been asked by that cross-dressing boy, he couldn't remember that kid's name either anymore, if he was in love with Taki. His affirmative response had been so ready, so sure, that he must have meant it. It must have been true at that moment, but when had it become true?
He reached further inward. Taki was hurt on that case as well. He remembered being worried, incredibly worried. Then it hit him. He had to laugh since it was watching just that, something hitting Taki, for it to hit home for him: just how much Taki meant to him.
They were fighting off some yakuza thugs when Taki told him to run with the kid. He was focused on the job and putting others before himself, which was so much like him. Goh remembered pleading with him to hurry up and not waste his time fighting that trash when it happened. One of the thugs picked up a board and struck Taki from behind. The full force of the blow hit him in the back and side. He went straight down.
In that moment the world froze. Goh's eyes opened wide in shock and it took him more than a second to formulate any words and even then the only thing he managed was a frantic, "Taki!" He totally lost his cool. Even Taki was calmer and he was the injured, and captured, party.
Every action he took after that was irrational. He gave up the very thing they were hired to acquire and risked his own capture to save the other man. The job could shove it; the world could shove it. The only thing that mattered was Taki, of getting him back safely. Suddenly, the other man was more than a partner, friend or potential lover. In that one moment of realization he had become everything to Goh.
Sure, a lot of heartbreak and unrequited love ensued for quite a long time after that, but it'd worked out in the end, right? They were here now, in this bed together, and sharing the very life that he'd wanted to share with the other all this time. That alone made all the suffering and waiting worth it.
The urge to kiss Taki struck him then. He knew he shouldn't, but he found himself leaning forward regardless.
"What are you doing," mumbled the voice to his side.
Goh started. He realized that he'd been caught in the act and mouthed wordlessly.
"Watching me sleep again? You've got some creepy habits, you know," Taki said as he rubbed at his eyes and turned to look at the clock on the nightstand.
Goh, sobered somewhat by Taki's coldness, recovered enough to respond, "Is it really so strange..."
Taki glanced back distrustfully.
"...That I want to look at you?"
Taki turned to him, irritation at discovering the early hour temporarily forgotten in the face of this strange seriousness from the other.
Seeing an opening, Goh leaned forward. "Taki?"
"What?" Taki looked up at him, too tired to be aware of the other's motivations.
"When did you know?" Goh half closed his eyes.
"Know what?" Taki involuntarily began to lower his own lids.
"That you loved me..." He didn't seem to expect an answer. In fact, it didn't seem he wanted to wait for one anyway, as he leaned forward the final distance and captured Taki's lips. Taki was too taken aback at the situation and his recent awakening to fight back and by the time he'd recovered he found he was enjoying the kiss.
When Goh finally pulled back, Taki had to ask, "What's this all of a sudden," his voice more concerned than angry. Mission accomplished, though it seemed Taki was waiting for a response.
Goh only smiled. It didn't matter when it happened, it only mattered that it did. They'd both crossed the line and neither of them was turning back. A perfect life realized.
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I especially loved how you infused it with the undercurrent of snarky affection that they show each other.
You write the BEST Yellow fics EVER. ^_^
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Loved it!
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